the clueless american

Note: I can finally see well enough to start using the computer again so I'm going back and blogging about my surgery. Well, today was the BIG day, and I'm already done! Last night I was naturally unable to sleep because I kept thinking about the surgery--even while I was asleep. I got up at 5, got ready, and took my last look at the alarm clock through glasses before leaving. Even though it was short enough to walk, I decided to take the bus there. The bus got me to the hospital at 6:05 for my 6:30 showtime, and I expected to be waiting alone for a while. I needn't have worried because almost everyone else was already there when I showed up. After a short wait they herded all of the morning patients--about 10 I think--into a briefing room. There the surgeon gave us a group consent briefing and we all signed our consent forms. Then a technician explained all the medicines we'd be getting and went through the dosage for the first day. One of the things she mentioned was that they'd be doing the surgery in rank order. It was hard for me not to smile because as far as I could tell I was the highest ranking person there. 10 minutes later when I was the first one called to the prep room, the technician was surprised to be seeing me. She said she expected me to be one of the lowest ranking. She got me ready by giving me my obligatory shower cap and then taping two big pieces of gauze on my cheeks. Those were to catch any liquids that might spill out of my eyes during surgery. At 7:35 am the surgeon came in to meet me and briefly discuss my procedure. He said that my level of prescription led him to believe I'd be a home run--vision as good or better than my previous corrected vision. At about 7:40 I was led to the first seat in the surgery waiting room, but a few minutes later a worried tech rushed up and said she'd forgotten that my eyes were still a little dilated when they saw me on Friday. I was whisked off into an exam room for some quick repeats of the tests they'd already done. At 8:10 I was back in the waiting area--still first--while I listened to the surgeons prepare for us. At about 8:30 I was brought into the room and told to lie down on a table. They gave me my anesthetic drops, and a minute later covered my left eye and propped the right one open. They wheeled me under the laser and then proceeded to scrub off my epithelium--the top layer of skin on the eye basically--with an electric brush. It sounds nasty but by then I didn't feel a thing. I just saw the brush coming at me and then it was blurring my vision for a few seconds. Finally it was laser time. My right eye needed a little more work and so got 22 seconds. I was told to keep focused on a flashing orange light, and the laser began. The whole time the surgeon kept saying "keep looking at the light, doing good, keep looking, almost there, etc." until the 22 seconds were up. After the laser it seemed like 10 different hands came into view dropping medicine in my eye and placing the contact lens bandage. Next they did the same to my left eye. The only bad part was that for some reason I could feel the brush a little bit and I got worried that the laser might hurt. It didn't, and this time 13 seconds was all it took. They wheeled me back over where I'd started and told me to sit up. They always ask patients to read the clock there, and although I could clearly see the numbers and hands I was to disoriented by the quickness of it all to say anything for a few seconds. I finally blurted out 9:37, but of course it was 8:37, less than 10 minutes after I'd entered. Darn those analog clocks! After the surgery I was brought across the hall into an exam room, where for about the 10th time this week I got the bright light/prism machine while they looked in my eye. I guess I'd better get used to that one. After a few quick reminders about the medicine I was told I could leave. It was surreal walking past the other patients getting ready. They were all looking hopefully at me so I gave a goofy thumbs up and said I was finished. As I walked out, the wife of one patient asked another, "Is he done already?" as I strolled out the door. As I walked back to the room I realized my vision certainly wasn't better than it had been, but still I was able to walk 1/2 mile on my own barely 5 minutes after surgery. I got back to the room, called e and my mom, and then got to work on the medication. They kept warning us the pain would be the worst in the first 24-48 hours so I planned to make the most of the percocet and benadryl they gave us. I did a round of drops: steroid, 3-5 mins later antibiotic, 3-5 mins later artificial tears. Then I ate a small snack, took my happy pills, and did another round of drops. Their advice for the first day is to sleep as much as possible, and if I wake up at least 2 hours later do more drops; if it's 4 hours later I get more percocet and benadryl. That's all I've been doing all day, calling e or my mom during my few minutes of wakefulness. Now it's time for more sleep, hopefully all night. Tomorrow morning I have my first followup at 7:30. I hope I'm not too drugged to make it!