the clueless american

I’m here in San Antonio, where in 6 days I’ll be letting the military doctors (well, their «laser» at least) cut on my eyeballs. I was accepted in the USAF’s PRK surgery program in December after some initial testing, but I’m starting to think maybe someone doesn’t want me here.

My first obstacle was obtaining orders. Not permission, mind you, just the permission actually typed out and signed. The permission came on 27 December, but yesterday at 1510 I was sitting there at my desk calling every number I could find for the hospital business office at Robins. If it wasn’t 3 hours away I would have driven down to see what was up. Finally at 1551 the orders came in by fax, I re-faxed them to the travel agency, and they issued my e-ticket.

The fun didn’t stop there. This morning we sort of dawdled around the house but left only 10-15 minutes late. When we left the house e said she wanted to accompany me to the security gate, but by the time we got to the airport nearly an hour later we realized I needed to jump out and go. I did just that, and 2 minutes later was on the phone with e asking her to come right back. Turns out the limit on bags is now 50 lbs, not 70 like it used to be. My bag was 61 lbs of mostly clothes with a few goodies thrown in. I wound up getting rid of the portable DVD player, my USAF leather jacket (I have to wear a uniform sometimes here), and all the DVDs I planned to take. Now that I see my room has a DVD player I wish I’d taken at least some of the movies with me.

Anyway, I dumped the extra stuff in e’s car when she returned and then started briskly walking to the terminal. By the time I passed security and rode the tram to my terminal, I was showing up at about 1055 for an 1123 pushback. When I got to the gate the electronic sign showed a different city, and at the bottom it said that the San Antonio flight had moved from D35 (the farthest from the tram, btw) to C25. I rushed back to the tram and hopped on one just before the doors closed. I ran up the long escalator and hustled over to C25 only to find them boarding for another city. I asked the guy where my flight had moved, and he gave me the “all passengers are idiots” tone and said it was at—wait for it—D35.

Although I was already nearly out of breath from running to C terminal, I managed to go back a little faster. I missed the train but luckily had to walk only one terminal’s worth. I ran up the escalator again (no mean feat if you’ve ever seen the huge climb those babies make) and puffed my way back to my gate. The electronic sign still made no mention of my flight. Turns out they turned off my flight’s info back at 1050ish when they started boarding and thought they’d helpfully tell the next San Antonio flight that they had moved. I hustled out to the ramp, nearly boarding an empty jet because I saw the exiting flight crew and not the ramp agent beckoning me from 100 feet away.

I finally settled into my seat, turned the air on full blast, and tried to relax. I went through the annoying process of untangling the mini-earphones only to find that my Archos Jukebox had apparently turned on when I packed it last night. The battery light flashed and I got 30 seconds of song before it cut off. Not my day.

After a music-less flight, I made my way to the baggage claim area. Since the bags are usually slow, I figured I’d pick up the rental car first. Big mistake. In front of me was a couple from Mexico who hadn’t made a reservation and were hemming and hawing about getting a mid-size when they really wanted a compact which was all rented out. I stood there at least 15 minutes, and then had to wait another 10 while someone at the lot found a reserved compact for me that hadn’t already been let go. By the time that mess was done I was able to get my bag and hop right on the Advantage shuttle. 30 minutes later I was still in the parking lot waiting for the car I’d started paying for back at the counter. The 3rd person who looked at my documents finally found my car. Even though they knew I was on my way long before, they decided to park it out back instead of making it ready for me. I told all this to e while I was waiting and she said I needed to get to my room and lock myself in for the rest of the night to be sure nothing else happened.

Getting to the room wasn’t quite as easy as I’d hoped, including the 4-5 car major accident on the opposite side of I-410 that made my rubbernecking side slow to a crawl. At least I wasn’t in the accident or behind it. I finally made it here and was pleasantly surprised to find that they’d put me in a little suite for my 10 day stay. Now only if it had internet access. I need to either hook up my cell phone for a while or head to the BX to see if they have some sort of short term internet dialup plan, or I’ll use the cell phone to find a free wifi hotspot. Wish I’d have thought of that back home when I had the ability to search easier. Oh well.

Tomorrow I need to head over to Brooks AFB where I’ll undergo a full day of testing to be sure that my eyes really are eligible for surgery, then I’ll have a pre-op at Wilford Hall the next day, the whole weekend off, then surgery Monday morning.

...just about every kind of eye test there is, I'd wager. Over the last two days I've had my eye digitally mapped, had photos taken of it, done the standard eye charts, seen tough low-contrast charts, and even tested my NVG acuity. I thought I'd be done yesterday, but there wasn't enough time to complete everything so I went back this morning. They started out by dilating me and then proceeded to repeat a lot of yesterday's tests. Then, just when I thought the testing was over, they sent me to another building at Brooks where another doctor did some of the same tests they had just done next door. Before examining me, he started out by saying they'd found a few "such-and-such" cells in my left eye and oh by the way did I have a history of glaucoma in my family? It was the first time anyone had mentioned glaucoma to me, but when I mentioned I was adopted and don't know my family history he shrugged it off and never mentioned it again.

I think something in these drops must make me tired, because I've just woken up from my third nap today. I feel like I could have a snack and then head right back to sleep, but I think I'll wind up being awake a while.

Nothing much else to report...with my eyes supposed to be dilated 24-48 hours, I can't see anything too close (especially with glasses) and can't see anything too far when I take the glasses off. I'm looking forward to being able to see normally tomorrow.

...dilation. Looks like my hopes to see normally were misplaced. This morning I went to the actual hospital where the surgery will be performed to get my pre-op exam. All of the tests were ones I had done at least once at Brooks, but the techs kept explaining them like I'd never seen them before and saying things like "I know we have some weird tests here compared to what you've seen."

After doing about 90% of the tests, one of the techs gave me more dilating drops just to be sure I'd stay dilated for the full exam. After that I think I had about 10 total minutes of exam time so they were probably unneccessary, but nobody asked me.

The final meeting was with a doctor who told me there was nothing to yesterday's brief glaucoma discussion. He said he saw nothing in my eyes or the record to even mention the topic. Now all I have to do is wait the whole weekend and then come back Monday morning at 6:30 to finally get the surgery.

On another note, after ponying up a few bucks for a local dial-up account, I discovered today that the lodging office has free wi-fi in its lobby. I'm here in a conference room right off the lobby with about 5 other families all checking email and surfing the web. It's not as convenient as my room, but it's a heck of a lot faster than the 36.4 dial-up speed I've been getting.

After a 14-month hiatus, I did some geocaching again yesterday and today. Before leaving Georgia I downloaded the 50 caches closest to Lackand and transferred them to my GPSr and my Palm Pilot. Overpacking notwithstanding, I had enough room to bring along a little swag as well.

Saturday was a pretty dreary day, but as I pulled out on the road I'm sure the announcer said it would be a sunny afternoon. The sun never came, but it was still a good day.

The first cache was very close to the base at a 9/11 memorial put together by a church. If the picture comes out I'll upload it once I get home. It was a nice enough memorial with an easy-to-find cache right behind it. The disappointing thing was that the people who built the memorial just threw their trash right behind it! There was half a plaque where they'd either mis-spelled the name or maybe the sponsor backed out at the last minute; it was easy to see that it was the same style and material as the memorial. They must have thought that people would walk behind the memorial because there's a walk with newly-planted trees there.

Anyway, from there I moved on to another cache near the closed-down Levi factory. It was easy enough to find but required some walking through the dirt which was rapidly becoming mud. I was glad to be doing it in the daytime as there appeared to be some sort of homeless camp nearby.

My only DNF (did not find) of the day came when I went looking for a cache hidden right by an on-ramp. It took me 3 times to realize that there was a parking lot just before the on-ramp, and each of those times I had to drive a mile or two before there was a turn-around. The second time I chose a different exit which of course did not have a return to the highway. I had to drive another few miles before finding my way back. By the time I was finally in the parking lot and able to look around, it had started to rain. I got tired of walking around poking through all the trash there so I gave up on it.

I did 3 more caches after that, giving me a 5 for 6 record for the day. Not too shabby for my return to caching. The most time-consuming and challenging part was finding the right roads to take me where the GPSr was pointing.

Today was a much nicer day, but I didn't get started until late because I had to make my last shopping trip before the surgery. By the time I got ready to cache it was already nearing 1, so I grabbed some lunch and then got moving. I found 3 of 4 caches, with the only DNF being one where I knew I was in the correct spot but couldn't find the cache. The owner wound up de-activating it tonight because I was the 2nd DNF this week, but sometimes that happens where 2 can't find it and the next one does. After my last cache, the next 3 were in a place where the owners recommended 4WD and lots of off-road driving. I live by the TDY motto "it's a rental," but I didn't feel like getting stuck in my Neon so I headed back. 8 caches in 2 days--not too bad! I have to go to at least one cache in Georgia because I picked up a travel bug that needs to go there. I hope to take MJ as he grows up.

Like I said to e on the phone, I spent the first 3 days being tested and talking or hearing about my surgery all day long. After 3 days of not talking about it, it's almost a surprise that it's time! I'll be trying to make myself go to bed in a little while, and then tomorrow I'll be up at 5 for my 6:30 appointment. I don't know exactly when the surgery will happen, but I should be back in the room by noon. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for better than 20/20, but I have to make myself be happy with anything as long as I can still see.

Note: I can finally see well enough to start using the computer again so I'm going back and blogging about my surgery. Well, today was the BIG day, and I'm already done! Last night I was naturally unable to sleep because I kept thinking about the surgery--even while I was asleep. I got up at 5, got ready, and took my last look at the alarm clock through glasses before leaving. Even though it was short enough to walk, I decided to take the bus there. The bus got me to the hospital at 6:05 for my 6:30 showtime, and I expected to be waiting alone for a while. I needn't have worried because almost everyone else was already there when I showed up. After a short wait they herded all of the morning patients--about 10 I think--into a briefing room. There the surgeon gave us a group consent briefing and we all signed our consent forms. Then a technician explained all the medicines we'd be getting and went through the dosage for the first day. One of the things she mentioned was that they'd be doing the surgery in rank order. It was hard for me not to smile because as far as I could tell I was the highest ranking person there. 10 minutes later when I was the first one called to the prep room, the technician was surprised to be seeing me. She said she expected me to be one of the lowest ranking. She got me ready by giving me my obligatory shower cap and then taping two big pieces of gauze on my cheeks. Those were to catch any liquids that might spill out of my eyes during surgery. At 7:35 am the surgeon came in to meet me and briefly discuss my procedure. He said that my level of prescription led him to believe I'd be a home run--vision as good or better than my previous corrected vision. At about 7:40 I was led to the first seat in the surgery waiting room, but a few minutes later a worried tech rushed up and said she'd forgotten that my eyes were still a little dilated when they saw me on Friday. I was whisked off into an exam room for some quick repeats of the tests they'd already done. At 8:10 I was back in the waiting area--still first--while I listened to the surgeons prepare for us. At about 8:30 I was brought into the room and told to lie down on a table. They gave me my anesthetic drops, and a minute later covered my left eye and propped the right one open. They wheeled me under the laser and then proceeded to scrub off my epithelium--the top layer of skin on the eye basically--with an electric brush. It sounds nasty but by then I didn't feel a thing. I just saw the brush coming at me and then it was blurring my vision for a few seconds. Finally it was laser time. My right eye needed a little more work and so got 22 seconds. I was told to keep focused on a flashing orange light, and the laser began. The whole time the surgeon kept saying "keep looking at the light, doing good, keep looking, almost there, etc." until the 22 seconds were up. After the laser it seemed like 10 different hands came into view dropping medicine in my eye and placing the contact lens bandage. Next they did the same to my left eye. The only bad part was that for some reason I could feel the brush a little bit and I got worried that the laser might hurt. It didn't, and this time 13 seconds was all it took. They wheeled me back over where I'd started and told me to sit up. They always ask patients to read the clock there, and although I could clearly see the numbers and hands I was to disoriented by the quickness of it all to say anything for a few seconds. I finally blurted out 9:37, but of course it was 8:37, less than 10 minutes after I'd entered. Darn those analog clocks! After the surgery I was brought across the hall into an exam room, where for about the 10th time this week I got the bright light/prism machine while they looked in my eye. I guess I'd better get used to that one. After a few quick reminders about the medicine I was told I could leave. It was surreal walking past the other patients getting ready. They were all looking hopefully at me so I gave a goofy thumbs up and said I was finished. As I walked out, the wife of one patient asked another, "Is he done already?" as I strolled out the door. As I walked back to the room I realized my vision certainly wasn't better than it had been, but still I was able to walk 1/2 mile on my own barely 5 minutes after surgery. I got back to the room, called e and my mom, and then got to work on the medication. They kept warning us the pain would be the worst in the first 24-48 hours so I planned to make the most of the percocet and benadryl they gave us. I did a round of drops: steroid, 3-5 mins later antibiotic, 3-5 mins later artificial tears. Then I ate a small snack, took my happy pills, and did another round of drops. Their advice for the first day is to sleep as much as possible, and if I wake up at least 2 hours later do more drops; if it's 4 hours later I get more percocet and benadryl. That's all I've been doing all day, calling e or my mom during my few minutes of wakefulness. Now it's time for more sleep, hopefully all night. Tomorrow morning I have my first followup at 7:30. I hope I'm not too drugged to make it!

I had no problem sleeping through the night on my last dose of Benadryl, and luckily no problem getting up this morning, either. I walked over to the hospital for my one-day followup appointment.

So far I can tell my vision is different, but I've got a long way to go until it's good. I'm seeing things in the mid-range that used to be blurry but far is still bad and near (which used to be perfect) is also blurry. I still haven't had any pain yet, which is good but leaves me dreading pain's arrival.

The exam was quick. I was disappointed that the technician didn't tell me exactly how I did on the charts, but it was clear that I've got a ways to go until 20/20.

After the exam I went to the hospital's mini-BX to buy some Refresh+ artificial tears. I'll be seeing those a lot over the next year. The various docs here at Wilford Hall have told me to use it every half-hour, every 15 minutes, and even every 5 minutes until 2007. That's a lot of tears!

Today has been another sleeping day. I'm not allowed to read, watch TV, or use the computer until Friday so I just keep popping the pills when I can and sleeping as much as possible. That's the one good thing about not having e with me. She would be bored stiff if she were here because all I do is sleep all day. I still miss her and The Boy though.